6 Things To Stop Expecting From Others

To be happy in life, it’s important to stop expecting from others and let them be the way they are. We should accept the fact that not everyone can be like us.

“If you expect nothing from somebody, you are never disappointed.” ― Sylvia Plath.

Well, these words are just so true. Most of time, we are hurt because we expect others to act/ think/ speak in certain ways, and when that doesn’t happen, we feel as if the sky is crashing on us!

Life is full of uncertainties, and somewhere, the beauty lies in the fact that not all of us are the same.

It’s only when you accept that others are different from you and start acknowledging them for who they are, you’ll find solace in everything. Love will bloom, relationships will be nurtured.

Things to stop expecting from others are:

1. Don’t expect that others will always agree with you.

“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.” ― Alexander Pope.

Expecting others to consistently agree with you is simply unrealistic. We often get upset when people don’t agree with us, and sometimes, the disappointment lasts longer.

But it’s important to understand that even our parents, siblings, and best of friends have the right to disagree with us.

As individuals, everyone has the right to express their opinions and we shouldn’t get bothered when others don’t agree with us.

When someone disagrees with you, rather than getting hurt or feeling bad, try and understand their point of view as well.

It’s important to understand that our lives would become extremely monotonous if everyone starts agreeing with us and functions according to us.

It’s the difference of opinions that brings out unique perspectives and helps us to evolve and approach better solutions.

2. Don’t expect others to be ‘perfect’.

“When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.” ― Donald Miller.

We always look for a ‘perfect’ friend, a ‘perfect’ partner, a ‘perfect’ boss, so on and so forth!

Have you ever tried to think that the idea of perfection is essentially relative? What might be perfect for you, might not be perfect for someone else.

Also, we can’t expect others to be perfect when we are filled with so many flaws. The chase of perfection often leads to a obsessive compulsion to have everything just right, which can eventually lead to extreme stress, anxiety, depression and immensely affect one’s mental well-being.

Accept the fact that people will never live up to your expectations, but acknowledge the fact that they tried their best.

This would not only make you feel better, but it’ll also nurture your relationship with others.

3. Don’t expect others to find solutions for your problems.

“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.” ― Bruce Lee.

It’s a foolish act to depend on others to find a solution for our own problems. I knew someone who could drive a car but never learned how to change the tyre.

Hence, once when there was a tyre puncture, he felt stuck & helpless, not knowing what to do! He had to leave his car in the middle of the road and hunt for a mechanic.

Similarly, there are occasions when we can’t find ourselves stuck in a mess, expecting others to pull us out of it.

Not just that, but we tend to get disappointed when others don’t/ can’t help us the way we wanted. Instead of creating that dependency, we should hone our minds to be adaptive to every situation.

Know that you are your best judge, and none can help you the way you can do for yourself.

4. Don’t expect others to think like you.

“My expectations were reduced to zero when I was 21. Everything since then has been a bonus.” ― Stephen W. Hawking.

Expecting that everyone will think the way you do is extremely dangerous for your mental health, and you’ll be disappointed at every step in life.

Each individual has their own, unique, ways to think & act. Regardless of how wonderful a human being you are, people might not agree to your thought-process, confront you, or bring in certain ideas that are entirely contradictory to that of yours.

Don’t get affected by it – instead, try to be logical and understand what they are trying to say. Appreciate the thoughts of others.

Make then feel worthy, and you’ll be treated the same way. Maybe, you can add something to their thoughts and something better can turn out of it.

5. Don’t expect others to be mindreaders.

“Expectations were like fine pottery. The harder you held them, the more likely they were to crack.” ― Brandon Sanderson.

If something is bothering you, step out and speak up! People can’t just immediately tune into what you’re thinking.

Nobody can read your mind and it’s always better to have a conversation where you can express yourself and communicate honestly, pouring out your real feelings.

If you like someone, go and tell them how you feel. If you’re looking for a promotion, then have an open conversation about it with your boss.

If something goes wrong at home, talk it out with your family.

Suppressing your feelings will only cause harm to your mental peace and in many cases, it might just strain your relationship with others.

The idea is quite simple here – if you wish someone to know something, talk about it. Nothing would change without conversations, and transparency in relationships, often, leads to miracles!

6. Don’t expect others to change for you.

“You can’t expect everyone to have the same dedication as you.” ― Jeff Kinney.

It’s general to not like all the traits in one person. There are chances that someone in your life has certain traits which you aren’t fond of, and you hope that someday they’ll change themselves.

Let me pop the bubble – it’s not gonna happen that way!

If you don’t like something about someone, the best you can do is, tell them openly. But beyond that, you have no control over others and it’ll be an irrational act to force them to change.

Rather, you can be more loving and accepting – to acknowledge the fact that this is how they are and help them grow in positive ways.

Just as you have your own struggles, so does everyone else. The moment you start expecting from them, you force them into something that they might not be prepared for.

Having expectations from others will eventually ruin the balance of your life.

I understand that it can be hard, but we all need to let go of our unrealistic expectations from others and learn to live a healthier, happier life, with a more loving approach for all.

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